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Week in Review: 976-IDOLS

Now that your internal body clock has finally adjusted to the switchover to Daylight Savings Time, it's time for your friendly Vulture editors to wrap up this week for you with a great big bow.

• After adding a surprise thirteenth contestant to the mix, American Idol producers found themselves in a bit of a pickle when they discovered that callers might end up getting sweet nothings whispered into their ears by a phone-sex operator instead of voting for their favorite contestant. Fortunately, that crisis was averted, but nothing could stop contestants from staring at an upside-down, barn-sized reproduction of themselves while performing.

Fake rapper Joaquin Phoenix turned up in Miami and promptly sang a fake song before getting into a fake fight with a fake fan.

• Not only did U2 manage to lose over 350,000 fans in the last two years, but they couldn't even help Dave Letterman beat Jay Leno in the ratings.

• Lots of other non-thematically related things happened, too. Nazis had sex, book critics got roasted, the Emmys changed their rules, Ben Silverman stayed classy, Jack White started a new band, Polow da Don came up with the worst idea in the world, Jimmy Fallon improved (while SNL did not), music execs decided to coast, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs went low budget and the decidedly high-budget Watchmen disappointed.

• Radiohead front man Thom Yorke chided marching band-members and Kanye West.

• We spent an unhealthy amount of time combing Twitter for you this week, which led to us praising Diddy, outing Christopher Walken as a fake, laughing as Trent Reznor beefed with Chris Cornell (but, strangely, not with Timbaland) in less than 140 characters, and watching Jon Favreau pee.

• In movie news, Dakota Fanning joined the cast of Twilight 2, while Juan Antonio Bayonera landed the director job for Twilight 3 (or did he?). Also, Mickey Rourke and ScarJo signed up for Iron Man 2.

Until next week!