vulture lists

20 Pic Chest-off: Jackman vs. McConaughey

While we here at Vulture have great respect for the craft of Acting, we also recognize that one can never really appreciate the full extent of a thespian’s talents until he acts shirtless. After all, any Actor (with a capital A) worth his salt recognizes that physicality is one of the most difficult traits to translate to audiences. With this in mind, we’re fairly certain that the careers of both Hugh Jackman and Matthew McConaughey will go down in history as being two of this era’s most cherished talents. So, in honor of next week’s box-office showdown between Wolverine and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, we have decided to take a trip through each of their impressive bodies of work (pun most certainly intended), in an attempt to determine which of these two frequently topless actors reigns supreme.

Film: Australia (2008) Jackman prefers to bathe outdoors using only a bucket of (presumably cold) water.
Film: EdTV (1999) McConaughey is clearly more of the indoor type, preferring to flex for the cameras while Cresting up before bedtime.
Film: The Newton Boys (1998) McConaughey prefers to bathe alone, accompanied only by a glass of chilled Champers on ice.
Film: Swordfish (2001) When he’s not busy hacking mainframes, Jackman enjoys teaching Halle Berry the proper technique for putting backspin on her 9-irons.
Film: Surfer Dude (2008) When he’s not busy surfing, McConaughey is a leading proponent of virtual-reality technology.
Film: X-Men (2001) Perhaps distracted by his own rippling pectorals, Jackman finds it nearly impossible to get a good night’s sleep.
Film: Failure to Launch (2006) Likely due to his epic consumption of marijuana, McConaughey is able to sleep like a baby, night in and night out.
Film: The Prestige (2006) You might just think he’s just a pretty chest, but Jackman is actually one of the world’s greatest illusionists.
Film: Surfer Dude (2008) Contrary to popular belief, McConaughey actually does not enjoy nude bongo playing; digieridoo is more his style.
Film: Someone Like You (2001) Chest hair and Chinese food. Simple as that.
Film: Frailty (2001) Phone sex. Obvs.
Film: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) Removes shirt, weeps like a baby when his one true love shuffles off this mortal coil.
Film: Fool’s Gold (2008) When faced with sure death, McConaughey lets his pecs do the talking.
Film: Wolverine (2009) Jackman takes yet another bath.
Film: Scoop (2006) Jackman loves to pop his top, head down to the pool – does this guy love water or WHAT?!? – and engage strangers in conversation.
Film: Fool’s Gold (2008) McConaughey, on the other hand, is a bit more cerebral. Like many of us, he enjoys a nice evening of topless cartography.
20 Pic Chest-off: Jackman vs. McConaughey