We present to you, without comment, the full text of Julia Roberts's awesome speech at last night's Film Society of Lincoln Center 36th Gala Tribute to Tom Hanks at Alice Tully Hall:
"All right, it’s late and I’m paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee, so ... everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson], and her tits were here and her waist was here and her ass was all that [she was referring to something said in an earlier speech]. So, what can I tell you that’s new?
Tom Hanks — what the fuck? Listen ... Bosom Buddies, people. Me: a fan. Bosom Buddies. I saw Turner & Hooch, The Money Pit; I missed That Thing [You Do]. I love the Coen Brothers, but the hair, Tom — I don’t even know what the fuck that movie was about. You in the airport with the accent; it was a pass for me. Do you love airports, or were you dissing immigrant laws? I didn’t know! I love you, and I didn’t know what to do. Silly. God, I’m wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist.
Listen, I’ve got to get home. But I must say this — Tom Hanks, I love you. You do something that two other people on the planet do — and this is true, people. It’s so dark out there [in the theater], I feel like I’m in space. Thank you, whoever made it light — J.J. Abrams, are you here? Um, but truly, people who Tom and I don’t know, I was going to tell you something that is really profound and comes from the heart that I do have. Which is this: Uh, Tom can walk into any room and make you feel like you’re in your living room, truly. Make you feel comfortable, make you feel like you have something interesting to contribute, make you feel like there’s a reason you’re on the planet. And that’s a true gift. That isn’t acting, and isn’t, you know, dinner-party games; it’s heart and it’s compassion and it’s soul. And he has that, and only a couple of other people — that I gave birth to — have that. And also, Sally Field played my mom once!
"Tom, I love you, I love you so much. I love Rita. And it’s also — this is my big moment, because now I get to say, ladies and gentlemen, one of really my favorite people on planet Earth — and now I’m going to leave and go home — Mr. Fabulous, Mike Nichols."
View our Party Lines slideshow for more from the Tom Hanks Tribute.