Ah, Sawliet, so good while it lasted. Because for all the pathos, even we, the greatest fans of the love between these morally ambiguous blonds, thought "ha HA!" when Kate arrived on that sub. This can't bode well.
In other news, Locke is not Locke that alters when it alteration finds; everyone gets beat up; time loops; and our heroes confer, banter, and dive, preparing for next week's finale, when they all (according to Richard) die. On the plus side: Miles finds out dad was trying to save him. So, you know, it balances out.
As Jack and Kate lurk, Faraday is shot. But before they can flee, Widmore beats Jack up. Meanwhile, Ellie reads Faraday's journal, with that touching inscription from future ice-cold her. When Young Widmore and Young Ellie confer, rather hotly, Ellie suggests it isn't Dharma who is trying to attack them.
Oh cool! It's that boat in a bottle, with Richard building it. Locke arrives, lugging boar. "There's something different about you," says Richard, and Freakishly Jocular Locke replies, “I have a purpose now.” (A purpose to be SMOKEY, says us — or is that so obvious it's a red herring?) Ben explains to Sun that Richard is an “adviser”: “And he has had that job for a very, very long time.”
Sun approaches, clutching orientation photo, to ask if Richard was there in the seventies. Yes, he says, he remembers meeting the Losties very clearly — because he watched them all die.
On the Island: Never Trust a Smiling Locke
Are they all dead? worries Sun. Locke doesn't think they went through all this for nothing, which doesn't answer the question, dude. He asks Richard for his compass, banters Ben into joining him, and promises Sun if there's a way for her and Jin to be together, and to save their people, he'll find it. Too jovial!
Ruffian Two kickboxes Kate's head. Jack and Kate confer: Jack's loving Faraday's “erase history” plan, Kate's all, “what we've been through, it wasn't all misery!” and Jack's all, “enough of it was.” (Kate, just say it: What about me being in prison?) Ellie, clutching the journal, explains she met Faraday when she was 17: He said “I'm from the future,” told her to bury the bomb, then vanished. She's tetchily verklempt, so Jack reassures her that killing her son was an accident and she can take it back — just do what's in the journal! Does Jack knows what he's talking about? He thinks he does, Kate snarks, or deadpans, or snarkpans, mournfully.
The bomb is under the Dharma intiative, Ellie explains.
Meanwhile, Radzinsky bludgeons Sawyer (I want my lawyer! says Sawyer). Though Horace objects, Radzinsky goes Cheney, and soon there's blood and Sawyer-punching and Juliet begs, “Stuart, please, we have known each other for three years.” Sawyer tells her to hush: They won't believe her, and more people will be hurt. Phil slugs Juliet. The ultraviolence pauses when some New Yawk–accented dude arrives with the doctored manifest, alerting them to Hurley ...
Who is at that moment packing Dharma chow, planning escape. Hurley, Miles, and Jin are headed for the beach — though Hurley objects that Sawyer would never leave them behind — when Dr. Chang shows up, wanting to know if they're from the future. With bouncerlike skills, he requests Hugo's birthday, and after much funny sputtering about the Korean War (“there's no such thing”), Hugo breaks: “All right, we're from the future, I'm sorry.” Chang realizes Miles is his son and asks if they should evacuate — Miles says yes, Faraday's been right so far.
Widmore wonders why Faraday is familiar. Ellie plans to take Jate to the bomb. As they confer, Richard explains that for Widmore and Ellie, “love can be complicated.”
As nervous Richard peppers him with questions, Locke asks to see Jacob. Richard resists; Locke says “I am the leader.” And when they approach the heroin-smuggling plane, Locke has more aggressive demands: In three minutes a man will walk out of the jungle, so Richard should remove his bullet, then tell him “to bring everybody back to the Island and that he's going to have to die” — in other words, Locke tells Richard to tell Locke to behave so that he will later tell Richard to tell Locke to behave this way, and so on. Oy.
And indeed, wounded Locke approaches and Richard follows directions. “This must be quite the out-of-body experience,” says Ben as Locke watches himself, and Locke answers jocularly, “Something like that.” They banter about Jacob, whom Locke says Ben has never seen, and Richard returns with the compass, unnerved. Locke seemed convinced he'd have to die, so thank God THAT didn't happen, muses Richard. “Oh, it did,” says Locke.
Chang confronts Radzinsky and the Dharmites, a great name for a band. Radzinsky wants to keep building the Pearl; Sawyer wants women and children on the sub — and hey, if he and Juliet can go, he'll confess. Sawyer starts drawing a map.
When Kate declines to swim into the underground tunnel, the Hostiles threaten her with guns. Luckily, useful murderer Sayid saves the day.
Richard and Eloise confer over the dead bodies. Meanwhile, Jack and Sayid — worst hair EVER! — confer, too, and when Jack explains he's trying to change things, Sayid brags that he already has, by killing Boy Ben. Sorry, guy, we saved him, says Kate. “Since when did shooting kids and blowing up hydrogen bombs become okay?” (Prude!) And while Jack's hot for change, Kate thinks he might kill everyone — and when he blathers about destiny, he sounds like crazy-head Locke.
Hurley, Jin, and Miles watch the sub load up. First Charlotte and her mom go, then — so sad! — it's Chang, forcing Miles's mom out. Next come Sawyer and Juliet, and though Hurley is convinced they have a plan, Sawyer's plan is apparently to buy Microsoft, get rich, and abandon them all.
Back to the tunnels: Richard dives, then Jack, then Ellie's there too, and even Sayid comes through! (If this plan works, they're saved, Sayid notes; if not, it'll put them out of their misery.)
When the Locke-led team (unnerved Richard, bemused Ben) returns to the Others, Locke makes a speech, which is basically: “My name is John Locke and for some time, you've been accepting orders from some guy you've never met named Jacob. What's up with that?” Sun asks if Jacob can bring everyone back, and Locke twinkles confidently, says yes, and riles the extras to follow him like Moses.
Richard says Locke is trouble. Ben says, Why do you think I tried to kill him?
On the sub, handcuffed, Sawyer and Juliet spiritually canoodle, but despite the “got your back,” I love you's, and soft eyes, we laugh out loud when Kate arrives. Chains of Love flashback! And third-degree bitchface.
In the tunnels, Sayid and Jack confer about whether to trust Ellie, which Jack does, because 30 years from now she tells them go back to the Island, which makes no sense, but okay. They find the bomb. “Now what?”
As Locke and Ben take a romantic stroll down the beach, Ben snitches that Richard is unnerved. Locke tells Ben that despite what he told Sun, he's not trying to reunite anyone: He's going to visit Jacob so he can KILL him.
What We Know Now
• Locke and Richard are one fat chronological Escher drawing.
• Dr. Chang was a good dad.
• If you meet the Jacob in the road, kill him.
The Wha? Factor
• Jack is “destined” to “change everything” and — huh?
• How did Sawyer jump from “let's not harm anyone” to “let's invest in Microsoft”?
• Is Locke really Locke? Or Smokey? Or someone else entirely? (Jacob? Tara? Echo?)