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Stephin Merritt Unveils Practical Solution to National Scourge

"When I am dictator, compulsive homosexuality will remove the problem of children." —Stephin Merritt [VV]

"This is one of those things that I'm gonna get killed for saying, but I didn't really pay attention to the recent films — which I probably should have. But I just didn't. For whatever reason, I just wasn't as much of a fan as friends of mine were of the Trek films." —J.J. Abrams [MTV]

"This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world." —Mindy Kaling has yet to realize her new show will air on NBC [Variety]

"If you ever talk to a TV writer or a movie writer who say they don’t like TV or movies, you should find them and hit them in the face." —Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence [AV Club]

"You also don't want it to be that reunion show or movie where you see — like when the Brady Bunch had a reunion and they were old." —Jennifer Aniston on what a Friends reunion should not look like, but ultimately would [MTV]

"He's my victim. I love to take as much money off of him as possible." —Edward Norton on playing poker with Woody Harrelson [NYDN via Contact Music]

"'It's a collection of cliches and stock characters which I can't see as being anything but a disaster.'" —John Cleese reveals a rejection letter from the BBC when Fawlty Towers was first pitched in 1974 [Contact Music]

Photo: Patrick McMullan