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Cher: Everywhere

Cher I: The Zookeeper, starring Kevin James as the title character who learns the ways of love from the animals he oversees, has booked a slate of celebrity voices: Adam Sandler will voice a capuchin monkey, Jon Favreau a bear, Sylvester Stallone a lion, Judd Apatow an elephant, and Cher a giraffe. Believe it or not, this is only part one of Cher’s comeback … [Variety]

Cher II: … because she's also appearing in Burlesque, her first starring role since 1999's Tea With Mussolini. In the flick, Christina Aguilera plays a small-town girl who breaks out as a singer at an L.A. burlesque club. Cher will play the owner, Tess, a former dancer fighting to keep the club alive. This will be the first time Cher has sung in a film she's also starred in, Variety tells us. We hope she takes the opportunity to remind everyone she totally started this Auto-Tune shit. [Variety]

Simpson Back on TV: Jessica Simpson will return to reality TV with VH1’s The Price of Beauty, a show featuring Simpson traveling the world, talking to real women and famous people, while showcasing and trying out local fashions, dietary fads, and beauty regimes, highlighting our obsession with looks while stressing that "beauty comes from within." In other news, oh, my God, have you seen how much weight she's lost recently? [HR]

Grisham Goes Along: John Grisham's 1999 bestseller The Testament — about a charity worker in the Brazilian wetlands who inherits $11 billion from her estranged father and the down-and-out lawyer who helps her fight off her greedy relatives — has been optioned by 821 Entertainment. Producers have been trying to buy the book since it was published, and Grisham finally agreed when he was promised more creative input. Also, he wanted to add on another sunroom. [Variety]

Rock-Rubin Sandwich: Rick Rubin will produce Kid Rock’s follow-up to 2007’s double-platinum Rock-n’-Roll Jesus. Rock says he has around twenty songs in the can to choose from, but that Rubin has slowed down the production process and that "we won't release anything until we both agree that every song on it is great." So this might take a while. [Billboard]

Go Doyle: Larry Doyle will pen the screenplay for Go Mutants!, a teen comedy set in a high school where children of famous fifties movie monsters have assimilated among the normal population. Doyle’s last project was the adaptation of his novel I Love You, Beth Cooper; with Go Mutants!, Universal bought the pitch, and Doyle will be finishing the book and the screenplay at the same time. Presumably his next project will be a novelization of a screenplay he hasn’t yet written. [Variety]

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