Despite being savaged by nearly every writer on the face of the earth, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen grossed $201.2 million domestically and $387.3 globally in its first five days of release, thus proving that the combination of Michael Bay, enormous robots, and Megan Fox's cleavage are entirely criticproof. Another sequel has been announced for June of 2011, but at the moment it is unclear whether Bay and his screenwriters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci will be available to make the third picture in the series. Surely to the dismay of Trekkies everywhere, Kurtzman and Orci are currently busy working on a draft of the next Star Trek movie, and Bay has his heart set on helming Pain & Gain, a film about steroid-abusing bodybuilders involved in a botched extortion plot. Though it is hard to imagine that Dreamworks/Paramount would want to mess with a surefire formula, they may be forced to hire a new director for the franchise. Giving it just a bit of thought, we've arrived at the ideal candidate: Brett Ratner! He may not match Bay as a virtuoso of macho schlock cinema, but he has proven himself to be nearly as criticproof, and, based on his work on X-Men 3, he clearly has no problem jumping in on a preexisting franchise for a healthy payday.
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