Despite being savaged by nearly every writer on the face of the earth, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen grossed $201.2 million domestically and $387.3 globally in its first five days of release, thus proving that the combination of Michael Bay, enormous robots, and Megan Fox's cleavage are entirely criticproof. Another sequel has been announced for June of 2011, but at the moment it is unclear whether Bay and his screenwriters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci will be available to make the third picture in the series. Surely to the dismay of Trekkies everywhere, Kurtzman and Orci are currently busy working on a draft of the next Star Trek movie, and Bay has his heart set on helming Pain & Gain, a film about steroid-abusing bodybuilders involved in a botched extortion plot. Though it is hard to imagine that Dreamworks/Paramount would want to mess with a surefire formula, they may be forced to hire a new director for the franchise. Giving it just a bit of thought, we've arrived at the ideal candidate: Brett Ratner! He may not match Bay as a virtuoso of macho schlock cinema, but he has proven himself to be nearly as criticproof, and, based on his work on X-Men 3, he clearly has no problem jumping in on a preexisting franchise for a healthy payday.
Most Viewed Stories
Drake’s Views Is Available on Apple Music, iTunes
The Daily Show’s Lewis Black Addresses Live’s Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan Situation Like the Goddamn Disaster It Is
Breaking Down Every Song on Drake’s New Album, Views
What’s New on Netflix: May 2016
Chelsea Peretti and Jordan Peele Eloped and Their Only Wedding Guest? This Ridiculous Dog
‘Isn’t This Funnier?’ New Girl Creator Liz Meriwether Recalls the Making of the Prince Episode
Mario Lopez and Anderson Cooper’s Thirst for Michael Strahan’s Live Gig Is Going to Cause a Drought
When Did Audiences Stop Taking ‘Middlebrow’ Television Seriously?
The Big Bang Theory Recap: Let’s Get Toasted
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May Once Again Attempt (and Quickly Fail) to Name Their Motoring Show
Latest News from VultureA Brief Look at Will Ferrell’s Brief Involvement With a Ronald Reagan Dementia Movie
The short answer: It wasn't worth the trouble.Of Course the Cheesecake Factory Responded to Drake’s Views Shout-out With a Meme
We made a better one.Elisabeth Moss Will Star in Hulu’s The Handmaid’s Tale, Trading the Sexist Past of Mad Men for the Sexist Future of Gilead
Moss will play Offred.Why the Ghostbusters Trailer Is the Most-Hated Movie Trailer on YouTube
We'll give you one guess what happened.Keanu Review: When Key and Peele’s Cat Comedy Is Good, It’s Soooo Good
"Help it make some money this weekend so they can all do it again."What’s Leaving Showtime: May 2016
Good-bye Evita, King Kong, and Dead Poets Society.Aloha Means Hello and Good-bye, Which Is What People Have Been Saying to One Aloha Billboard for a Full Year
Aloha is evergreen.6 Supreme Memes of Zac Efron’s Baywatch Face-plant
Thanks, internet.What’s Leaving HBO: May 2016
Good-bye Brokeback Mountain, A Knight's Tale, and 10 Things I Hate About You.What’s New on Showtime: May 2016
The Royal Tenenbaums! Penny Dreadful! The Stanford Prison Experiment!
"When a guy makes a point of articulating, 'Here’s a financial transaction that’s about to take place,' that is a big red flag."Finally Some Good Political News for You to Click On: Allison Janney Stepped in As White House Press Secretary
Got that, Carol?What’s New on HBO: May 2016
Mr. Show! Mistress America! Jupiter Ascending!Watch Nicole Kidman Debate Going Topless in The Family Fang
It's an exclusive clip from her new movie.The Good Wife’s Most Epic Recurring Guest Stars, Ranked
Elsbeth is my everything.Will Ferrell Is Not Doing the Ronald Reagan Comedy That Made Reagan’s Family So Angry
"While it is by no means [an] 'Alzheimer's comedy' as has been suggested, Mr. Ferrell is not pursuing this project."
When Harry Met Sally! 99 Homes! Sex, Lies, and Videotape!The Catch Recap: Who Is the Benefactor?
"The Benefactor" deepened my love of this slick, sudsy show.RIP ‘Loveline’
“Loveline,” the call-in show that made Adam Carolla, Dr. Drew, and sex-question talk radio famous, aired its final broadcast last night.What’s New on Hulu: May 2016
Goldfinger! Airplane! Selfie!