Despite being savaged by nearly every writer on the face of the earth, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen grossed $201.2 million domestically and $387.3 globally in its first five days of release, thus proving that the combination of Michael Bay, enormous robots, and Megan Fox's cleavage are entirely criticproof. Another sequel has been announced for June of 2011, but at the moment it is unclear whether Bay and his screenwriters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci will be available to make the third picture in the series. Surely to the dismay of Trekkies everywhere, Kurtzman and Orci are currently busy working on a draft of the next Star Trek movie, and Bay has his heart set on helming Pain & Gain, a film about steroid-abusing bodybuilders involved in a botched extortion plot. Though it is hard to imagine that Dreamworks/Paramount would want to mess with a surefire formula, they may be forced to hire a new director for the franchise. Giving it just a bit of thought, we've arrived at the ideal candidate: Brett Ratner! He may not match Bay as a virtuoso of macho schlock cinema, but he has proven himself to be nearly as criticproof, and, based on his work on X-Men 3, he clearly has no problem jumping in on a preexisting franchise for a healthy payday.
Most Viewed Stories
How Spike’s Lip Sync Battle Became Such a Stunning Success
Oops, Part of the Batman v Superman Trailer Leaked
The Hidden Game of Thrones Connection in the New Star Wars Trailer
Here’s a Clearer Look at Jared Leto’s Joker
Was a J.Lo Cameo in Anna Kendrick’s ‘Booty’ Lip Sync Enough to Beat John Krasinski in a Dress?
A Very Emotional Shot-by-Shot Reaction to the Star Wars Teaser
Ice Cube Is Rightfully Proud of ‘Bye, Felicia’
Kevin James Movies Have a Kevin James Problem
Scandal Recap: Back, But Never Here
The Story Behind That Hilarious Poop Scene on Louie
Latest News from VultureTina Fey–Narrated Monkey Kingdom Makes the Wild Familiar
Tina Fey's narration is full of humor and warmth.Movie Review: The Dead Lands Is a Streamlined, Relentless Action Film
Like a typical action movie that's been sawed off and sanded down.Furious 7 Made a Billion Dollars in Just 17 Days
Zoom.It’s Friday: Cry Watching Tracy Chapman Sing ‘Stand by Me’ to David Letterman, or Maybe Just Cry From the Relief of a Work Week Finished
For you, Dave.Daredevil Recap: Black Sky
Matt can tell when someone is in love, or dying, or the exact emotional needs of a dog.Tidal CEO to Be Replaced
Probably not on Hov's call list today.Felicity Jones on True Story, Star Wars, and Oscar Season
"It's a pinch-me moment."Kars4Kids Is on Television. The End Is Nigh.
Pure torture.12 Years a Slave’s John Ridley Is Secretly Working With Marvel on a New TV Series
How mysterious.Watch Rose Byrne and Nick Kroll Freak Out in Jane Krakowski’s Swim Class
From their new movie Adult Beginners.
You are dope.Why Cristela Deserves to Get a Second Season
It will be a damn shame if this winning comedy is canceled.Matthew McConaughey Fanboyed Out to the Star Wars Trailer, Just Like the Rest of Us
So many tears.Child 44 Wastes a Great Cast and Premise
How can a movie starring Tom Hardy, Noomi Rapace, Joel Kinnaman, and Gary Oldman be so bad?Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Sure Is Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
Did you notice that Blart rhymes with fart?After 53 Years, It’s Time to Say Good-bye to Univision’s Sábado Gigante
Adiós, amigo.Kevin James Movies Have a Kevin James Problem
The comedian's movies don't understand what he does best.Horror Movies and the Modern-Day Technology That Will Kill You
Forget vampires; this is Snapchat.Thanks to WikiLeaks, You Can Now Search Through All the Leaked Sony Emails
Julian Assange strikes again.Was a J.Lo Cameo in Anna Kendrick’s ‘Booty’ Lip Sync Enough to Beat John Krasinski in a Dress?
Sometimes you're just a man in a dress.
Welcome back, Papa Pope!If You Want to Have Sex in a Box While People Watch, You’re Going to Have to Do It on Your Own Time Now
RIP, Sex Box.Tatiana Maslany Talks Orphan Black, Clone Origin Stories, and Sarah and Felix’s Incredible Loft
"They're not going to give up that real estate."True Story Finds Jonah Hill and James Franco Playing ‘Serious Actors’ Instead of Actually Acting
It is definitely no Jinx.The Vampire Diaries Recap: What If?
We don’t know how Elena’s story will end, but we do know our lives will not be the same without her.Sarah Jessica Parker Is Returning to HBO and Fictional New York City
Carrie's back. Kinda.Animated Louis C.K. Animal Movie Gets a Name and Release Date
The Secret Life of Pets — with an amazing and not-so-secret cast!Conan O’Brien Tried to Do a Detective-Themed Escape Room, Almost Throttled His Producer
In the 1940s.Oops, Part of the Batman v Superman Trailer Leaked
Watch it while it lasts.Louis C.K. Thinks He Shouldn’t Smoke Pot or Tweet
He is right about one of these things.
In the music video for Kung Fury's lead track.The Story Behind That Hilarious Poop Scene on Louie
"Four years I've been saying to Louie, 'Please. Please do this scene.'"Louie Recap: Friends, Sex, Love, Marriage, Divorce, Ruin
The one with the masterfully done poop joke.Here’s a Clearer Look at Jared Leto’s Joker
Thanks, Snapchat.Theater Review: Shall We Dance Once Again? The King and I Returns
Darker, richer, sadder, better than you may remember.This Unfriended Meme Might Just Be Better Than the Movie
Boo!A Very Emotional Shot-by-Shot Reaction to the Star Wars Teaser
You win, Disney.Daredevil Recap: Men Like Us
This is so far the best episode of the series.Ryan Gosling, Artist, Will Star in the New Blade Runner Sequel
Alongside Harrison Ford.How Spike’s Lip Sync Battle Became Such a Stunning Success
We settle on four key factors.
You in danger, girl.Here’s an ‘Official’ Look at the Stylized Blood Spatter in Quentin Tarantino’s Hateful Eight Teaser [Updated]
Don't h8.The Hidden Game of Thrones Connection in the New Star Wars Trailer
Guess who's under that helmet?Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer Has John Williams and TIE Fighters, But Mostly: Han and Chewie!
*Wookie roar*.Meet BB-8, the Adorable New Star Wars Character You’ll Love More Than Your Parents
These GIFs will absolutely kill you with cuteness.Why Is TV’s ’90s Reboot Boom Ignoring All the Great Black Comedies of That Era?
Sister, Sister deserves to come back.Unfriended Turns Everything Teens Love Against Them
"It’s a mean, potent little movie."Brand New Keep Torturing Us, Playing New Songs Without Info About a New Album
They're killing us.Is This What the New Star Wars Baddie Looks Like?
Say hello to Kylo Ren.Report Concludes CBC ‘Condoned’ Jian Ghomeshi’s ‘Disrespectful and Abusive Behavior’
"It is our conclusion that CBC management condoned this behaviour."