R. Kelly Will Be Your Server This Evening


R. Kelly is still working on the official follow-up to 2007’s Double Up (which will now go untitled, apparently), but the man knows we can't wait too much longer. So in the meantime we get The Demo Tape, Kelly’s first-ever mix tape. Amid remixes of tracks by The-Dream and Young Money are a few original cuts, including "Tip the Waiter," a song of immediate interest around Vulture HQ, given Kellz's legendary metaphorical prowess. So what does "tipping the waiter" actually involve? A sex-in-a–high-class–restaurant-bathroom fantasy, perhaps? Some overly complicated sexual maneuver only Kelly can successfully execute? A [more insane third thing]?! Turns out it’s not too crazy — Kelly plays a strip-club patron who, dazed by "that ass and Patrón," waits all night for the lady in question to finish her shift; hence, the "waiter." When she's done, he wants "some gratuity, and I don't mean cash." (He means sex.)

Most Watched on Vulture

Latest News from Vulture

Beware the Unkempt Beasts — No, Not John C. Reilly’s Hair — in New Trailer for Kong: Skull Island

Some advice: Don’t go on vacation to Skull Island.

Bill Cosby Loses Bid to Move Sexual-Assault Trial Elsewhere, But He’ll Get an Outside Jury

Many of his jurors may reportedly come from his hometown of Philadelphia.

Reminder: Barry Jenkins’s First Movie Is Currently Streaming on Netflix

There’s no better movie to watch after Moonlight’s shocking Oscar win.

Asia Kate Dillon on Billions, Nonbinary Gender Identity, and Making TV History

Dillon is the first nonbinary actor to play a nonbinary character on television.

Imagining the Glass Menagerie Dream Team

Of the seven previous Broadway productions, which foursome would be the all-time greatest?

At 70, Sally Field Gets Her Dream Role

The actress has coveted the part of Amanda in The Glass Menagerie for years. As it turns out, she’s tackling it on Broadway at just the right moment.

Kristen Schaal on Writing Her Stand-up for a Character Named ‘The Girl’ and Being Vulnerable Without Being Personal

Kristen Schaal used to write her stand-up for a character named “The Girl.”

Rhiannon Giddens Lost Her Broadway Break But Gained Nashville

The singer’s new album, Freedom Highway, is just out.

What Was Everyone in the Oscars Audience Thinking When They Realized Moonlight Actually Won? An Investigation

Every kind of shock, from Meryl to the Rock.

Hallelujah! Moonlight’s Men Modeled for Calvin Klein

Mahershala Ali, Trevante Rhodes, and Ashton Sanders all stripped down. Alex Hibbert chills in a T-shirt.