R. Kelly Will Be Your Server This Evening


R. Kelly is still working on the official follow-up to 2007’s Double Up (which will now go untitled, apparently), but the man knows we can't wait too much longer. So in the meantime we get The Demo Tape, Kelly’s first-ever mix tape. Amid remixes of tracks by The-Dream and Young Money are a few original cuts, including "Tip the Waiter," a song of immediate interest around Vulture HQ, given Kellz's legendary metaphorical prowess. So what does "tipping the waiter" actually involve? A sex-in-a–high-class–restaurant-bathroom fantasy, perhaps? Some overly complicated sexual maneuver only Kelly can successfully execute? A [more insane third thing]?! Turns out it’s not too crazy — Kelly plays a strip-club patron who, dazed by "that ass and Patrón," waits all night for the lady in question to finish her shift; hence, the "waiter." When she's done, he wants "some gratuity, and I don't mean cash." (He means sex.)

Most Watched on Vulture

Latest News from Vulture

‘Donald Trump’ Delivers Counterpoint to Trevor Noah’s ‘Fake News’ on the Daily Show

Trump-impersonator Anthony Atamanuik has ideas about the border wall.

The Handmaid’s Tale Series Premiere Recap: Under His Eye

A dystopian vision designed to feel chillingly on the cusp of possibility.

Stephen Colbert Presents Sean Spicer’s Scandalous Daytime Soap Opera

Spicer stars in “The Bold and the Babbling.”

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Teen Rogue

Liars, I’m not mad. Just disappointed.

Jeff Goldblum To Reunite with Man-Eating Dinosaurs in Jurassic World Sequel

Hold on to your butts!

The Americans Recap: Fighting Words

Elizabeth decides it’s time for Paige to learn harsh truths.

Chris Rock and Adam Sandler Are Combining Their Netflix Empires for The Week Of

The next comedy in Sandler’s eight movie deal will co-star Rock.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Finale Recap: Xanax Dude

I’m done with this season, and so is Erika Jayne.

Theater Review: Can Six Degrees of Separation Still Bring Home the Bacon?

“We still do not know anyone but ourselves—and ourselves not too well, either.”

Great News Series Premiere Recap: Silver Tsunami

This new NBC sitcom is sure to earn comparisons to 30 Rock.