R. Kelly Will Be Your Server This Evening


R. Kelly is still working on the official follow-up to 2007’s Double Up (which will now go untitled, apparently), but the man knows we can't wait too much longer. So in the meantime we get The Demo Tape, Kelly’s first-ever mix tape. Amid remixes of tracks by The-Dream and Young Money are a few original cuts, including "Tip the Waiter," a song of immediate interest around Vulture HQ, given Kellz's legendary metaphorical prowess. So what does "tipping the waiter" actually involve? A sex-in-a–high-class–restaurant-bathroom fantasy, perhaps? Some overly complicated sexual maneuver only Kelly can successfully execute? A [more insane third thing]?! Turns out it’s not too crazy — Kelly plays a strip-club patron who, dazed by "that ass and Patrón," waits all night for the lady in question to finish her shift; hence, the "waiter." When she's done, he wants "some gratuity, and I don't mean cash." (He means sex.)

Trending Video on Vulture

Most Watched on Vulture

Latest News from Vulture

Seth Meyers Breaks Down How Trump Supporters Think He Performed in the Debate

"All Trump had to do was be a normal person and he would have been declared the winner, and yet he still managed to lose."

James Corden, Owen Wilson and the Late Late Show Staff Must Love Losing, Challenge Usain Bolt To a 100 Meter Race

Guess who really is the fastest man on earth.

Stephen Colbert, America Ferrera, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, George Takei and Other Celebs Make Dramatic Promises About Voting

"Voting is better than losing your virginity on Christmas morning."

CBS Announces Date for 2017 Tony Awards

Start emotionally preparing yourself now.

Sia Uses Her Song 'The Greatest' To Describe Hillary Clinton in New Video

Sia knows a thing or two about stamina.

Halt and Catch Fire Recap: Crossing the Line

"The Threshold" is a truly magnificent episode.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Recap: Who Ya Gonna Call?

The new S.H.I.E.L.D. director is no Phil Coulson.

This Is Us Recap: Let's Twist Again

Okay, This Is Us. I see what you're doing now.

In a Tale as Old as Time, Timeless Creators and NBC Are Sued For 'Ripping-Off' the Show's Format

Bet they wish they had a time machine to fix this situation.

Atlanta Recap: Black Bieber

"Play your part. You're a rapper. That's your job."