R. Kelly Will Be Your Server This Evening

By

R. Kelly is still working on the official follow-up to 2007’s Double Up (which will now go untitled, apparently), but the man knows we can't wait too much longer. So in the meantime we get The Demo Tape, Kelly’s first-ever mix tape. Amid remixes of tracks by The-Dream and Young Money are a few original cuts, including "Tip the Waiter," a song of immediate interest around Vulture HQ, given Kellz's legendary metaphorical prowess. So what does "tipping the waiter" actually involve? A sex-in-a–high-class–restaurant-bathroom fantasy, perhaps? Some overly complicated sexual maneuver only Kelly can successfully execute? A [more insane third thing]?! Turns out it’s not too crazy — Kelly plays a strip-club patron who, dazed by "that ass and Patrón," waits all night for the lady in question to finish her shift; hence, the "waiter." When she's done, he wants "some gratuity, and I don't mean cash." (He means sex.)


Most Watched on Vulture

Latest News from Vulture

Sleater-Kinney, Stephen Malkmus, Boss Hog, and More Made an Anti-Trump Charity Protest Album

It's pay-what-you-want, with all proceeds going to Planned Parenthood, The ACLU and 350.org.

13 Shows to Watch the Weekend Donald Trump Becomes Our President

For when you need a break from marching.

Shia LaBeouf Is Doing a 4-Year-Long Anti-Trump Livestream Event

It's entitled HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US.

Pharrell on Hidden Figures, Female Genius, and How He Knew Trump Would Win

"The uneducated or high-school-educated white male is fearful."

Here’s How You Can Livestream Donald Trump’s Inauguration

If you don’t have cable, there are still plenty of ways to watch. 

The Good Place Season Finale Recap: It’s Been Real, Dog

Holy mother forking shirt balls!

Monkeys Are Flying Out of Butts Everywhere and Wayne’s World Is Returning to Theaters for Its 25th Anniversary

Way.

John Mayer’s The Search for Everything Wave One EP Is Here

With promises of “more to come.”

Stephen Colbert Says Goodbye to Barack Obama With Help From Legally Aboveboard ‘Stephen Colbert’

It’s the end of the line, and we all have our parts to play.

Alec Baldwin Brings Donald Trump Impersonation to Michael Moore’s Protest

A slice of comedy with your activism.