The Week Bret Michaels Saw the Lights Go Out on Broadway

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If not for the selfless actions of a few noble individuals, this could very well have been the most boring week in blog history. We salute those heroes now: Bret Michaels, thank you for having your face smashed in by scenery. Broadway stars, thank you for making Tonys night so special. Jay-Z, thank you for killing Auto-Tune. Prince, thank you for teaching us the meaning of romance. Chandler Burr, we appreciate the assist. Paul F. Tompkins, thanks for the memories. Geoffrey Rush, thank you for closing down the party. Celebrities, thanks for putting Letterman over the top.

To our commenters (even the mean ones): We are grateful for your patronage. Alan Alda, thank you for giving us this awesome interview. Radio programmers, thank you for not playing that U2 song. Mickey Rourke, thanks for being Mickey Rourke. AMC, thanks for giving us back those two minutes of Mad Men. To a certain publicist: Thank you for the psychiatric evaluation. Thanks to record labels for not signing Danny Gokey. Thank you to Sam Rockwell for turning in one of the all-time best multiple-role performances. Thanks to James Wood for the funky beats. And Andrew W.K., thanks for putting rocket-launchers into the hands of children. Until Monday!