Michael Jackson to Be Eulogized by John Mayer, Kobe Bryant, and Reality-Show Loser

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As if Michael Jackson's funeral in Los Angeles tomorrow did not already sound like enough of a clusterfuck, its organizers have just announced the service's starry and totally random-seeming lineup. Appearing alongside the eulogizers whose invitations sort of make sense (Stevie Wonder, Al Sharpton, Brooke Shields, Smokey Robinson, Berry Gordy, etc.) are Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, John Mayer, and Britain's Got Talent finalist Shaheen Jafargholi. [Idolator]