quote machine

Gary Busey, Serial Entourage Tickler

“He’s looking at me … and he’s like, ‘Kevin, you and I are going to play a game called tickle and pee.’ I said, ‘Gary, please, I’m 33 years old. It’s emasculating.’ He’s chasing me around on the set. I’m running away from Gary Busey on my set, and Gary Busey is freakishly strong. He caught me, ultimately, and he tickled me. I felt like I was in fifth grade again.”—Kevin Connolly on Gary Busey’s creepy games [WENN via Contact Music]

“All these people can sit at home and can blog. They can say bad things about you online and you don’t know who they are, but they know who I am. It’s totally unfair. I know my face, you know my face. I want to see you. Meet me at this place here, and let’s have that discussion: ‘What did you mean “washed up and always yelling and screaming?” And if you don’t believe it’s me, call this number.’ I enjoy engaging critics in that way.”—Samuel L. Jackson wants to have lunch with a bunch of nasty bloggers [Contact Music]

“A young gentleman had a monkey in his hands with a diaper, and I was fawning all over it because I love animals. And he said, ‘If you want this animal, I’ll give this animal to you, but you have to give me tickets backstage.’ He came everywhere with me.”—Alanis Morissette on what she would do for a monkey [FemaleFirst]

“I guess it’s like when you make dinner at home. You shove the bowl across the table and you throw a fork and you drop the napkin. You make due [sic]. I don’t know if it’s all cosmetic. I guess you can tell when something is primarily cosmetic and lacks the structural integrity. I think we all have an instinct about that. Where does this ‘best’ thing come from? Is that human? Is that American? Is it all over the world? Everyone wants the best eye surgeon, the best babysitter, the best vehicle, the best prosthetic arm, and the best hat. There’s also the worst of all those things available, and they’re doing rather well. Denny’s is doing great. It’s always crowded. You have to wait for a table.”—Tom Waits comparing playing to a crowd without a sound system to … waiting for a table at Denny’s [Beck.com]

“Let your girl know you find her body sexy. Take nude pictures of her and put them on the Internet. Or I don’t know, maybe Craigslist or GirlfriendFinder, YouPorn, RedTube.com, AmateurGirlfriend.org, MILFHunters, baby!”—The Office’s Craig Robinson has some love advice [FunnyorDie]

“That’s one of the things I said in rehearsal. Everyone has to eat in the scenes, and everyone really went for it.”—Nora Ephron on force-feeding the cast of Julia Julie & Julia [FemaleFirst]

Gary Busey, Serial Entourage Tickler