Read any of the (generally mixed) reviews for evil-adoptee horror movie Orphan this morning and you'll probably see mentioned the film's twist ending, which Roger Ebert calls "rather startling" and Variety's Todd McCarthy says "ranks with The Crying Game in its surprise quotient." We figured this was just a paint-by-numbers Bad Seed rip-off — what could possibly be so shocking? And what if, like us, you're too afraid to sit through a horror movie to find out? Not to worry! We braved the even-scarier Ain't It Cool News comment section and found the answer. Spoilers ahead, obviously!
So what's the terrible secret of Esther, the titular European orphan adopted by Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard who's very clearly responsible for all the terrible things that happen in the trailer? According to someone who's seen it, this:
Esther is really a 33-year-old woman who was born with proportional dwarfism which causes her to have the appearance of a child.She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients.[Update: She is apparently not a former prostitute.] The reason why she has her neck covered is because she was once in asylum and she struggled so much in her straitjacket that it left with her deep scars on her neck.
Well! The movie's already prompted calls for a boycott from interest groups concerned it might "perpetuate gross misinformation about adoption." But if the lessons of Orphan can prevent just one family from accidentally welcoming a murderous thirtysomething
prostitute dwarf into their home, then we're all for it.