Sadly, this summer has seen a tragic shortfall in both the frequency and the overall level of awesomeness of celebrity beef. The few rumbles that come to mind Chris Kattan versus Jeremy Piven, Clay Aiken versus Adam Lambert, Jay-Z versus Vulture have all been short-lived and, quite frankly, totally forgettable. However, with the dog days of August in full swing, your friendly editors here at Vulture are each crossing their fingers in the hopes that the following beef will escalate and carry us through until the fall television season starts back up. So, ladies and gentlemen, we ask that you, too, sit back and hope against hope that Lady Gaga is sitting somewhere now (a) without pants on, and (b) thinking of ways she can fire back at one Tori Amos!
One might think that Tori Amos would be the type to heap praise on a fellow ivy tickler like Lady Gaga, but one would be totally wrong! In an interview with the (not very) reliable British "news" outlet The Sun, Tori decided to take a few (admittedly mild) potshots at the pantsless wonder:
"She's what I call a meteor — singers who entertain people for a while. Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.
"But then there are people like Neil Young who show up at Glastonbury 40 years into their career. And that's a very different kind of artist.
"Neil Young doesn't have to get his bum out on stage!
"The question is, will Lady Gaga be playing alongside Neil Young at Glastonbury in twenty years' time?
"She wants to entertain people. Right now, half the world is depressed and they need to be entertained. So her timing's perfect."
Ohhh, SNAP! But then again, not really. If this beef were a piece of steak, we'd send it back to the chef and ask him to cook it a little bit longer because it's not quite ready to be savored. However, we sincerely hope that Lady Gaga is feeling especially sensitive at the moment and decides to take the bait. Hopefully she'll call up a gossipmonger and say something derogatory about Amos, like "Wish you would've stayed silent all these years, you ginger freak!" or at the very least, challenge her to a dueling piano competition. Anything for a good story, people!
'Lady Gaga won't be around for long' [Sun UK]