new hires

Breaking: Ellen DeGeneres Is American Idol’s New Paula

Minutes ago, Fox announced that famed musicologist Ellen DeGeneres will replace Paula Abdul as American Idol’s nice judge next season. “I’m thrilled to be the new judge on Idol,” she said said in a statement. “I’ve watched since the beginning, and I’ve always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I’ll save from not having to text in my vote.” Speaking of money — one assumes that hiring Ellen was probably way more expensive than it would’ve been to give Paula that raise she’d asked for. More tomorrow.

Ellen DeGeneres joins ‘Idol’ as fourth judge [Live Feed/HR]

Breaking: Ellen DeGeneres Is American Idol’s New Paula