The full trailer for The Twilight Saga: New Moon is now playing in theaters attached to the just-opened slasher flick Sorority Row, which means it's also now on the Internet. Unlike previous teaser trailers, this over-two-minute version is practically crazy-CGI-hilarious wolf-free until the end, which makes it less funny, but it's actually kind of ... suspenseful? Must be the music! Kristen Stewart even has at least one non-wooden moment in this one, with her wisecrack about vampire laws. And we thought Jacob Black was going to be sort of a pussy, what with all the fuss about making Taylor Lautner bulk up to play him (and last month's interview/clip teaser highlighting his Too Nice–ness), but now he's all like, "[Edward] didn't want you!" MEOWWW! (Or whatever bitchy wolves say.) Best part: Bella watching other teenagers walk through the parking lot, smiling at one another while swinging their entwined hands. Second-best part, Fashion Week edish: Get ready to see a lot more teenagers driving while wearing printed-silk head scarves!