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What Else Does John Mayer Enjoy?

The video for John Mayer’s “Who Says,” the single from the upcoming Battle Studies (Note: What the hell does that mean?), depicts a dream evening for a young lady: a woozy, boozy night out in NYC with the sensitive crooner. We don’t know if those are Mayer’s real friends or just good-looking people hired to play the part, but either way, he appears to be having fun, with dinners at Blue Ribbon, impromptu comedy sets, illicit pool parties, and, of course, a whole lot of time alone at home with a guitar. Hopefully we won’t get impaled for saying this, but we kind of dig the song — it's a fluffy, almost intentionally funny ode to freedom with lines like “plan a trip to Japan alone / doesn’t matter if I even go / who says I can’t get stoned.” Just one question: Between writing hit singles and partying with class, when will he find the time to sodomize our party editor?