On paper, The Expendables seems like it could be one last swan song for a pack of rapidly aging heartthrobs from the eighties: Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, and even Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger are all set to appear in the film side-by-side with slightly younger ass-kickers like Jason Statham and Jet Li. And as much as we'd like to say the film will be a return to form for these veteran muscle men, the truth of the situation is that there seems to be just as much Botox running through the foreheads of these stars as there is HGH in their bloodstreams. Based on the contents of this rudimentary trailer, we can expect the film not to be filled with cheesily jingoistic rallying cries, but rather with dialogue that aims to be self-aware but turns out to be just plain awful (example: Bad guy orders the Expendables to "Put down your guns!" Jason Statham replies, "Fat chance." Sylvester Stallone's retort: "Why do people always say that?"). Fortunately, it doesn't look as if Mickey Rourke's appearance in the film will derail his comeback efforts, as his brief appearance is this trailer's only redeeming moment. Oh, and also when Dolph Lundgren calls Jet Li "Happy Feet." But really, trust us, it's best not to get your hopes up too high for this one.
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