Since everyone who operates together sleeps together, this week's episode appropriately opens on the beds of Callie and Arizona and Meredith and McDreamy. It's the middle of the night, and everyone's pagers are going off. Well, everyone’s except for Meredith’s, whom we only see briefly this episode, and only while she's in bed with Derek.
Callie gets called to tend to a 15-year-old girl with who jumped off her roof and broke 52 bones (52!) No one knows what she was doing on the roof in the first place, but it all makes sense when we later learn that the type-A student-council president was high on ’shrooms at the time. Awesome. She's all black-and-blue and there's blood and protruding bones and we have to avert our eyes from the screen. This is ABC, people! If we wanted gore like that, we'd watch the channel where they video real surgeries, not the Patrick Dempsey show.
Meanwhile, Arizona's busy giving a motivational speech to all staffers in the pediatric unit. She talks about miracles and magic and fairy dust while soft music plays, and she chipperly chants, "In peds, anything is possible"; it’s like something you'd hear on the welcome tram at Disneyworld. She goes off to watch over Wallace, a brainy and adorable 11-year-old who's been stuck in the hospital for seven months with a serious intestinal illness. His unexpectedly wealthy parents decide to donate $25 million to the newly dubbed Seattle Grace–Mercy West in order to fund research on their son's disease. Arizona hyperventilates ever so slightly on getting the news.
Suddenly it's the next morning and everyone's hanging out at Callie and Cristina's while Callie cooks up oatmeal and bacon and toast and fruit. Who has breakfast parties before work on weekdays? And why would McSteamy and Lexie come over to chat when they'd see everyone an hour later at the hospital anyway? Callie must make a mean omelette. We learn that Arizona's birthday is coming up and Callie is going to throw her a last-minute surprise party. Yay! A party!
Back at the hospital, where people at least pretend to work, the chief slams Alex with the unpaid balance of Izzy's medical bills, proving that even a cancer-stricken character who's supposedly been offed from the show can still give us a headache. Alex consoles himself by cradling a ten-weeks-premature baby, who looks like a sad but cute little alien. The preemie's heart rate rises the more Alex cuddles her (magic!) and Bailey tells him to take off his shirt because she thinks skin-on-skin contact will be most helpful. It’s totally not that she wants to check out his abs now that Izzy's out of the picture. Either way, Alex is topless for the remainder of the episode, and we don't mind.
Hunt and Yang, meanwhile, are busy arguing in the OR, likely more out of sexual tension than because of actual medical issues. Against Hunt's orders, Yang slices into their tanking patient, cutting and injecting fluids (again we turn away as it gets bloody). But whatever she does works and the patient stabilizes — except now Hunt's pissed because Yang upstaged him. Meanwhile, cute new Mercy Wester Avery tells it like it is, saying to Yang that she "rocked it," and that Hunt's just jealous he didn't do it himself. She tells him to shut up.
Wallace's health is on the brink and his parents want Arizona to operate, even though she thinks the surgery is too risky. But in his best James Earl Jones voice, the chief instills her with confidence, and she halfheartedly agrees to it. We're sure his insistence on the dangerous surgery has nothing to do with the pending $25 million donation. Though the surgery goes well, Wallace dies anyway, and Arizona is heartbroken. She finds out just before walking into her surprise party and immediately bursts into tears. She runs out, Callie runs after her, and McSteamy and Lexie drink beer and make out. Avery, who also takes advantage of the free booze, corners Yang to tell her that her impromptu slicing and dicing in the OR was "hot." Hey, whatever does it for you. They briefly shove their tongues down each other's throats, until Yang pulls away and asserts, "No, I'm involved." We're hoping Yang has a few more shots and lets this happen again.
Finally, in perhaps the most graphic moment of the show, we see Callie asleep on the couch wearing sleazy lingerie and holding a platter of doughnuts, waiting for Arizona to come home. She does, and they profess their love for one another. Who knew Dunkin’ was an aphrodisiac?
Next week: Izzy comes back! And she's pregnant! And Meredith's back, too!