Mark Shaiman to Serve as Oscars’ Musical Director, Genitalia Fondler

By
Photo: Getty Images

Marc Shaiman — the man behind Broadway's Hairspray and Neil Patrick Harris's songs at this year's Tonys and Emmys — has been hired by producers Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic as the music director for March's Oscars. Bad news: In an interview with ArtsBeat, Shaiman says he will not interrupt winners' acceptance speeches by playing them off, meaning the ceremony may never end. Good news: You might not want it to — "I’m definitely going to be kissing members of all sexes," promises Shaiman. "Groping the genitalia of anyone onstage … I plan on being the Adam Lambert of the Academy Awards." [ArtsBeat/NYT]