Vulture

Skip to content, or skip to search.

alec baldwin

Parade Removes 80 IQ Points from Alec Baldwin

"Me like food. Me have good job."

In a bizarre faux-essay, "Alec Baldwin's Holiday Confession: I Can't Resist My Mom's Baking, in this week's Parade Magazine, meant to publicize Alec's holiday old-people-screwing movie with Meryl Streep, It's Complicated, Alec (or a dumbed-down bizarro-version of Alec) talks about his love of pudding cake, pretty-lady Meryl Streep, and how lucky he feels to have a job when other people are struggling. There's nothing specifically wrong with it, per se, it's just that the whole thing reads like it was As Told To a slow third-grader with vocabulary issues:



"I wake up every day and think, “How can I make it a good day?” I have a good job. When we’re working on 30 Rock, we all knock wood and say, “Thank goodness we’ve got jobs when other people are really struggling.” I also have good friends who have helped me through some tough times. I have my family, who all get along pretty well. Everybody’s very close. I never wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the greatest Baldwin brother of them all?”

If you've ever read one of Alec's essays on The Huffington Post, or any non-Parade interview with him, or seen his show, or have read his (chapter!) book, or know who he is on any level, this thing sounds like the dumb-Charly parts of Flowers for Algernon. Thank god it's just the Parade effect, or we'd think our Alec was losing his mind.

Alec Baldwin's Holiday Confession: I Can't Resist My Mom's Baking [Parade]

Photo: Parade