All of you who were hoping that Vulture hero Hugh Jackman would reprise his role as the dashing host of the Oscars were dealt a minor blow on Tuesday when it was announced that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are going to tag-team the duties (after Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr. and Tina Fey all turned AMPAS down). This got the self-described "lucky" Alec off the hook with his daughter Ireland, for it turns out that he was wrongly credited as being the person who gave her that Lil Wayne birthday cake last week. And if you're wondering what Hugh Jackman thinks of this arrangement, well, it turns out he's totally cool with it.
So, what else happened this week?
Dane Cook took on the haters while Katy Perry triumphed over communism. Law & Order ripped something else from the headlines, Oprah prepared to rip herself from CBS. Roland Emmerich is afraid of fatwas, but not of sequels. 30 Rock got bi-LARIOUS and the Germans loved it. The Precious backlash began in earnest, with Armond White leading the charge. While Jemaine Clement plotted to dump Bret McKenzie, Fox Searchlight did the same thing to his new film. Rihanna implored us all to "Eff love," while we said the same thing about Inside the Actors Studio. Some of the symbols used during the third season of Mad Men were a bit heavy-handed, but Roger Sterling never failed to crack us up.
Joel McHale showed us his tits, Mariah Carey almost showed hers to Jay Leno, and Miley Cyrus, well, she showed us her ignorance of hip-hop. Julian Casablancas wished it were Christmas, while Natalie Portman wished you hadn't sent her those letters. Ben Silverman landed his dream job, while alien Visitors landed on Earth. Cheaters cheated while Southland landed. John Hodgman wrote gems, while Jessica Simpson accused the writers of Melrose Place of writing crap. James Franco got soapy and Jake Gyllenhaal got sandy.