You’d think Alicia Keys doing “Empire State of Mind” on The Colbert Report without Jay-Z but with a slow new intro would be boring. YOU WOULD BE WRONG. That’s because Stephen Colbert more than gamely filled in, coming out of nowhere to drop a whole new verse while wearing what looks like a hooded suit. Non–Andy Samberg parody rap is usually a terrible idea, but this was too goofy not to work: We’re pretty sure Colbert’s reading the words off a TelePrompTer, plus he stays totally stiff the whole time in what appears to be an attempt not to break his concentration; also, the lyrics are mostly about Connecticut and Times Square: “M&M store, Disney store, I’m in heaven / I own this town from 41st to 47th / take it to the Lion King, that show is fantastic / leave half an hour early so I can beat the traffic.” Everybody say yeah!
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