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Jackie Chan Tells Next Karate Kid to ‘Jacket Off’

We've been dreading the arrival of The Karate Kid movie ever since the project was first announced last year. It's not that we're wholesale opposed to remakes, but in the case of the 1984 John Avildsen film, it's near impossible to find any ways that one could improve the story. However, not much gets in the way of Hollywood studios looking to make a buck, especially when they can earn the loyalty of the biggest box-office star in the world by casting his son in the lead. Anyway, this trailer confirms some of our darkest fears of the reboot: There's some crappy CGI thrown into the mix, classism has been replaced by racism, and, well, we can't avoid the stench of nepotism emanating from Jaden Smith's pores. Plus, there's the whole matter of Jackie Chan telling little Jaden to "Jacket off." Honestly, folks, the last thing we need in the multiplexes next year is a pervy martial-arts instructor with a creeper 'stache using leftover Blink-182 masturbation puns to teach our nation's youth self-defense.


Watch This: First Official Trailer for The Karate Kid Remake [First Showing]