Say you were a company intent, for some reason, on selling dog-shaped cell-phone speakers to the discerning consumers of Japan — how would you do it? To be honest, we're not sure we'd have ever thought to shoot a commercial in which Quentin Tarantino dons a kimono, bluffs kung-fu moves, and speaks in what even we can tell is pretty terrible Japanese. But Soft Bank Mobile Corporation did, and we'll be damned if we don't now want a dog-shaped cell-phone speaker. Movieline has an English translation of the dialogue, but it probably won't help you make any sense of this thing.