The film wasn’t nominated in any categories, but Antichrist jokes were flying fast and furious tonight at the Gotham Awards, thanks to presenter Rosie Perez and host Kumail Nanjiani. Nobody brought any real zingers, but we did like Nanjani’s three-part bit about the lessons he learned from the movie:
“1. No matter how good the sex is, keep an eye on your child.
2. Do not go camping with your wife when she’s down in the dumps cause your kid jumped out the window while having sex.
3. If a self-disembolwing wolf [sic] looks you in the face and says ‘Chaos reigns,’ get the fuck out of the there. I don’t care how long you have the cabin for.”
Predictably, a number of one-liners focused on Willem Dafoe’s smashed genitals; while declaring Antichrist a “sick-ass” movie, Perez seemed impressed with the notion that it was Dafoe’s real member onscreen: “Well, hellooo, Willem Dafoe!” in her words. (Dafoe reportedly used a penis double for his nude scenes.)
So we cornered Dafoe after the ceremony and asked him if he’s sick of all the dick jokes yet. And it turns out, he sorta is. “What do you think?” he asked us, probably hypothetically. “I mean, it’s fine if that’s what they want to focus on. It’s a movie that I think is beautiful and was a joy to make. But I can only make it. If people want to make that the thing they want to talk about, it’s distressing, but that’s their business.” Then he smiled his awesome Willem Dafoe smile, politely shook our hand, and walked away to congratulate Kathryn Bigelow on The Hurt Locker’s win for Best Feature.