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Noted Humanitarian and All-Around Good Guy Mel Gibson Rushes to the Defense of Tiger Woods

"I feel sorry for Tiger Woods. Why are we talking about this when we are sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan?" —Mel Gibson [Radio Live]

"Would anyone of you be interested in forming an actual Na'vi Tribe? I would like for it to actually be a physical organisation with live people, and a Tribal Council. ... After all, the many Native American tribes and even countries such as Kosovo had to start somewhere." —Lines from the proposed Na'vi secession group's invitation [Guardian UK]

"Channing Tatum's penis is gross. It looks like a hot dog that's been left too long on the grill. The tip is hot-pink, singed, and shriveled. It appears angry. And it's painful to view. My penis hurts just from looking at it. Movie stars tend to be vain, by nature and profession, but Chan — that's what everyone calls him — does not mind one bit showing me his sad, withered wiener." —The opening lines of the Details article about Channing Tatum and his penis accident [Details]

“I have a 7-year-old little boy at home that I want to look up to me, and to have this blatant lie out there perpetuated by the show itself — it’s hurtful. It’s scary to think what my son will think of me.” — Bachelor contestant Rozlyn Papa on the accusation that she had an inappropriate relationship with one of the show's producers [People]

"When we first shot it, it felt awkward — for me and everyone else involved." —Kiefer Sutherland on smiling as Jack Bauer at the outset of season eight of 24 [LAT]

"I heard a lot of popping champagne bottles. There will be a fireworks display outside his house tonight." —Simon Cowell on Ryan Seacrest's reaction to Cowell's departure from American Idol [Us]

Photo: Getty Images