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the bachelor

The Bachelor Sets a New Record for Indecision

It's difficult for a reality show in its fourteenth season (yes, fourteenth) to continue to up the drama ante every week. The Bachelor's biannual promos have become less focused on romance and more on agony and crying for that very reason. This season we've already had one cast member outed for sleeping with an ABC employee, which most likely made the network very, very happy (even though host Chris Harrison said it made them very, very mad). And so this week's rose ceremony continued to attempt to hold the audience's attention in the most overwrought way it could: After endlessly staring at a rose like all three women had been poisoned and his flower only held enough antidote for one of them, Jake finally asked for a minute. He left in the middle of his ceremony, wearing his pain all over his chiseled face, as the stunned women were left to ponder whether he was about to propose to one of them or kill them all. But hey, if you want to keep raising the bar of "most dramatic rose ceremony ever," this is what you have to do. Next season: garment rending!

After he got his bearings, Jake sent home not one, but two of the contenders, keeping only the crazy one ... luckily for us.