This week, Vulture read some “For Your Consideration” ads, we used math to prove that 2009 wasn’t the worst year ever, the HMFIC took aim at anti-smoking advocates, Kanye West improved on the oeuvre of Maya Angelou, Warren Beatty did not have sexual relations with 13,000 women, Michael Cera made some new friends, Jason Reitman cured cancer, Ellen Page got paid, Stephen King went to the movies, A.O. Scott lit up, James Franco announced a gallery show, someboy leaked the Twilight 3 script, we learned the true cost of piracy, Matthew Goode said delightful things, the Bachelor cheat was revealed, NBC canceled Leno, then put him back on at 11:30, Jay joked about it, Avatar won Best Picture, Leap Year was released for some unknowable reason, Jersey Shore was on again, we asked some questions, Benzino smelled like old people, Lost fans told Obama where to stick it, we stammered through coitus, and Miley Cyrus retired.
