That's exactly the question that the FBI is currently investigating. According to TMZ, the Two and a Half Men star recently contacted authorities when he became concerned that his life was in danger. The situation goes a little something like this: He's been embroiled in a bitter custody fight with his ex-wife for some time now, and things have gotten so contentious that he believes she hired a hit man to snuff him out (!). Lest you think that Cryer is just being a paranoid prima donna, the most recent episode of his hit CBS program was filmed without a studio audience present after he received a "significant" threat while on the set of his show. So, with that said, we here at Vulture just have one simple request to whoever it is out there that's threatening the Duckman: Please, we beg of you, instead of threats of violence, we urge you to just try a little tenderness instead.