If you're searching on TV for the loosest possible definition of the world "journalism," look no further than the infotainment roundups offered by shows such as Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, TMZ, and The Insider. Each night, the vainglorious likes of Billy Bush and Harvey Levin shout out hyperbole-ridden narratives detailing the latest antics of Hollywood's most tabloid-friendly stars. As unabashedly trashy as these programs are, there's something inarguably addictive about the way they document the current state of American Celebrity. With that in mind, your friendly Vulture editors would like to introduce you to our new video series, "Babble On," a weekly tab-TV roundup that allows you to get the full, unintentionally hilarious effect of these programs without having to lower yourselves to actually watching them. In our inaugural edition, Gary Coleman and Rip Torn each find themselves on the wrong side of the law, Mario Lopez ponders what Michael Jackson's kids sound like, Mel Gibson confesses that he just doesn't give a damn anymore, and more. Enjoy!