When Mattel announced a special line of Mad Men–themed Barbies, we had two immediate thoughts: (1) Shouldn’t the Joan doll be a lot curvier? (2) Imagine the fun we can have! To that end, here’s a sneak peek at some of the special-edition play sets and accessories we imagine Mattel will be offering to help enact your favorite Mad Men scenarios and enhance your Mad Men fun. All you have to do is exactly what Don Draper does with the lonely attractive women of the greater New York area: Collect them all!
Giddy-Up Sterling Adventure Set
Hi ho, Roger! With the Bimbo Accessory Pack (available in pairs of twins) and Sterling Cooper Office Play Set with Lockable Door, you can help Roger have a little off-the-clock fun as he courts arrest, whether cardiac or otherwise. Honey, don’t bother waiting up — except for when he calls you later in tears to express a lifetime of regrets from his hospital bed. (Paramedics sold separately.)
Don Draper Good Times Cloakroom
Mr. Draper, are those your fingers up my skirt or are you just happy to see me? No Don Draper doll is complete without a matching Bobbie Barrett Doll for him to lure into the nearest coatroom for some unsettling sexual power games. Did somebody order the goose?
Don and Betty’s Jammin’ Cadillac of Marital Woe
Be very, very quiet — Don and Betty are driving home in awkward silence. What caused the tense standoff? You decide! Maybe Don was embarrassed by Betty’s bikini, or Betty caught Don with his hands in the Utz potato-chip bag ... so to speak! Either way, “silent car ride” is the play scenario you can enact again and again. (Betty Draper doll with Sudden-Vomit Reflex also available.)
John Deere Foot-Gobbling Fun Kit
Did somebody say, “Oh my God, my foot just got mangled by a runaway riding mower?” Never fear, First-Aid Joan is here! Not even a surprise face full of English-ad-executive blood can shake her cool demeanor as she applies a Makeshift Tourniquet (not included). Joan’s quick thinking saves English Ad Man’s life — just as his shocking-yet-oddly-convenient tragedy saves Sterling Cooper, for the time being.
Neglected Betty and Weird Neighbor Kid Combo Play Pack
For the little ones in your family: the special-edition Snips-a-Lot Betty with Removable Lock-of-Hair Memento. Nothing says “I find the lingering stares of the quiet neighbor boy strangely exhilarating” like the gift of a tress of your own hair. Trade them with your friends! She’ll always grow more. Her ennui is bottomless.