The Post today has details from The Man Who Would Be King, an unauthorized Steven Spielberg biography due in May by former Variety writer Nicole Laporte, on how the director keeps his secret moviemaking plans from leaking to evil Hollywood-covering blogs like ours. "His passion for secrecy sometimes suggests a burgeoning near-paranoia," says LaPorte. To which a Spielberg rep replies, "This description is so far from the real world of Steven that it doesn't deserve a comment. If the rest of the book is like this excerpt, readers can expect very little of what they read to be true." So, what does this security plan look like?
According to LaPorte:
• A magic Plexiglas "dome of silence" hangs over Spielberg's desk to block sound and keep his phone conversations confidential.
• He has a motorcycle parked outside his office in case he ever needs to make a fast getaway.
• When Spielberg's editor watches just-shot footage in a screening room, a high-tech "black cloth" is placed over the projection booth's window so no one else can see it.
• When he's not at his office, security-cam footage is streamed to Spielberg's home.
• Because his office happens to be located in earthquake-prone California, the director once furnished his employees with survival kits that included gas masks.
• All scripts, development reports, and memos are watermarked so that if any should leak, the person responsible can be identified.
Is it just us or does this all sound pretty reasonable? The man is Steven Spielberg, for God's sake! Can you imagine what would happen if the screenplay for his planned Lincoln biopic fell into the wrong hands? (Cough!) We can only assume that when his spokesperson says that the above is "so far from the real world of Steven," he means Spielberg's real security plan is even more intense, and all prospective employees are vetted using future-predicting Minority Report–style technology, and that if anyone sees an email they're not supposed to, this happens: