Lauren Conrad, what have ye wrought?! JWOWW and Ronnie of Jersey Shore fame have signed a deal to write a “guido guide” on how to achieve their fake-tanned, muscled-up, party-hard lifestyle. Called Never Fall in Love at the Jersey Shore, the book will be released by St. Martin’s Press. We’re not sure why they picked two of the more bland cast members — one who was barely ever onscreen, the other who was only onscreen when he was beating people up. We’re holding out for The Snooki Diaries.