party chat

Vulture is Undressed by The Millionaire Matchmaker

Get ready to hike up your skirts and show some cleavage, ladies of New York, because The Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, is coming to town. At last night’s Bravo Upfront party, where she was giving consultations to gold-digging partygoers like Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub, Stanger told us that she’s moving her L.A.-based show to Manhattan for its fourth season. They start casting next week, and Stanger is convinced that the women of NYC really need her help: “There are five women to one guy, so what do you do if the city is metrosexual, gay, with not enough men?” she told Vulture’s Emma Rosenblum and Jada Yuan, eyeing our conservative workwear with a frown. “Carpe diem! You go to the fucking suburbs! You go to Westchester, you go to Long Island, you go to Jersey, you look around! Guys in Jersey buy fucking $4 million houses! My sister met her husband at Cold Spring Harbor. What happened to the outskirts of New York?”

So how will Stanger amend her style advice for New York women? She must know that the L.A. stripper chic she advocates on her show won’t fly back east. “Yeah, New York is harder,” Stanger admitted. “Yes, you walk and you get sweaty, and you’re in the freezing cold with your parkas — how is he going to see the sea of assets?” she said, pointing to her very ample bosoms. She once again eyed us, and sniffed to Emma, “Honey, no one is going to pick you with your button-up shirt and your tank top.” She reached for Emma’s blouse and unfastened three buttons. Emma explained that she’d just come from work and already, ahem, has a boyfriend. “Excuse me! I don’t care if you have a boyfriend! You want to keep your fucking boyfriend? You want him to still try to make love to you on Sundays after bagels and lox? I’m sorry, we all have to pump up the volume.”

Vulture is Undressed by The Millionaire Matchmaker