spoilers

When to Cover Your Eyes in Hot Tub Time Machine

Hot Tub Time Machine is a movie about a group of friends. It’s a movie about the eighties. And, in the grand tradition of comedies since the mid-nineties, it’s a movie with a lot of — in some cases pretty imaginatively — disgusting visual scenes. It’s not Jackass or anything, but when we saw it, we found ourselves covering our eyes more than, say, five times. Here, typed out in approximate chronological order, is some of what audiences are in for in terms of the gross. (Spoiler alert: The following descriptions were written without regard to spoiling the movie’s plot points; however, if you don’t guess the main spoiler in the first fifteen minutes of the movie, you should not be allowed to see rated-R movies anyway.)

• A man reaches into a dog’s rectum and pulls out a set of keys. Both the man’s hand and the keys are covered in a feceslike substance.

• A hospitalized man violently rips out his own catheter, spilling urine on at least one lip-licking friend’s face. (“It’s just pee!”)

• A man projectile vomits repeatedly in a squirrel’s face, and also into a hot tub.

• A man pretends to have semen all over his face. It’s actually just hand soap. But still.

• A man almost loses his arm in a variety of different trauma situations. Then, he does lose his arm, and we see both the arm and the stump.

• A man witnesses the act of his own conception in a way that’s grosser than that sounds.

If we’re forgetting something (and we probably are, it’s been a few weeks), it’s because we blocked it out. Just be sure not to miss the movie’s Better Off Dead reference, and be careful out there!

When to Cover Your Eyes in Hot Tub Time Machine