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dancing with the stars

Charo Haunts Pamela Anderson on Dancing With the Stars

On last night's Dancing With the Stars, Pamela Anderson and her partner, Damian, shook off last week's bottom-two placement with a routine about a flamenco dancer who's in love with a matador, yet is against bullfighting (PETA spokesperson Anderson wouldn't have it any other way, she tells us). During practice, the couple gets a surprise tutorial by the flamenco queen herself, Charo, whom Anderson greets with an excited hug. (Charo is "a big anti-bullfighter, as well," says Pamela, to the chagrin of all the matadors tuning in.) Charo, dressed in a red leotard and polka-dot skirt, gets right down to helpful tips possibly scripted by old Love Boat writers she still keeps on retainer: "Pam-el-a, when I teach you flamenco, don't look down. Anyway, you can not see your feet with your big maracas." Then we see a shot of those two big sets of maracas, side by side, and it makes for a startling real-life tableau of the two ages of hoochie-coochie.

There's a chilling aspect to this seemingly comedic segment, because it feels like Anderson is getting an unwanted visit from the Ghost of Bombshell Future. "[Ghost voice.] Paaaaammmellaa, this will be you in 30 years, tutoring a young thing with even bigger breasts, who has an even more tenuous basis for her fame! Ooooohhhh!" There's a creepy symmetry to Pam and Charo's stories, va-va-voom careers, and looks (and yes, by looks we mean busts), and while Charo seems to be in exemplary shape for someone nearly 60 years old, Pam could also learn a bittersweet cautionary tale about trying too hard to hold on to your youthful face from this meeting. Though, to be fair, it does look like Charo's having a blast, even though we worry about her little legs collapsing under all that, er, force.