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Get Off My Boat: The Latest Internet Lost Theories

Nothing like a little homoerotic subtext.

This week's Lost was not very well loved — by our recapper, by many of you, and by many Lost bloggers. However, much of the island-obsessed community could agree that "The Last Recruit" set up a lot of players and plot points for the final six (!) hours of the show. From ghost dads to creepy Scottish men to leaps of faith, we looked to our favorite bloggers and commenters to see what they had to say about Lost's latest chapter.

• Let's assume that any time we've seen Christian on the island, he's actually been Smokey. That means it was him chilling in the cabin with Claire, and him who told Locke to push the Frozen Donkey Wheel. But if Ilana was right that Smokey became stuck as Locke once he took on his form, who/what was Christian in season five, when he appeared to Sun and Lapidus and showed them that everyone else was in 1977? And if Smokey has been trapped on the island, who was the Christian that Jack saw in the hospital during his off-island years? [Lost Blog/Filmfodder]

• This blogger answers the Christian question by suggesting that there are two ghost Christians wandering around: one in a blue suit and one in a brown shirt, with the latter being Smokey (he's not quite sure about the former). The writer does point out that if it was Smokey-as-Christian telling Locke to push the donkey wheel, then he may have planted the seed for his own demise, since it was Locke telling Jack that his "father says hello" that got Jack started back on the path back to the island. [It Happened Last Night]

• If Flocke’s explanation that he had appeared as Christian felt too simple to be true, perhaps that’s because it’s a lie. Sure, maybe he assumed Christian’s form a couple of times, but it’s highly doubtful he was Christian every time he appeared on the show. [Magic Lamp]

• Doc Jensen remembers that the first time dead people started talking to Hurley was the same episode in which Hurley stumbled upon Jacob(?)'s cabin and saw ghost Christian hanging around and then an eyeball in the window. If the cabin was actually a prison for MiB, and not Jacob's, could that mean MiB's been messing with Hurley ever since that moment? Also, what if the Smokey versus Widmore battle is just a ruse, and the two are actually working together to manipulate and destroy the Losties for a common goal? After all, last we checked, Smokey wanted to leave the island, and Widmore spent years working hard to get back to it. Does he want to be the next MiB? [Totally Lost/EW]

• MiB stated earlier that he was going to kill all of Jacob's candidates, but then why does he save Jack's life? Couldn't he just have let him get killed when Widmore was blowing up the beach? Does he really need the candidates after all? This blogger also took interest in Sawyer's line to Kate, "We're done going back," a clear opposite of season-three-finale-Jack's "We have to go back, Kate!" Might Sawyer be thinking this way because, unlike the other candidates, he doesn't have the experience of what happens when you leave the island? It looks like he may need to make the leap of faith that our Man of Science Jack has, and sacrifice himself in order to save the island, and possibly the world. [Televisionary]

• If the death of Jacob seemed to suggest that the Man in Black would have a stronger hold over the island’s inhabitants, the reality has not borne out that implication. Instead, MiB is looking more and more like a lame-duck ruler, with his minions disobeying left and right, and the number of his people shrinking rapidly. All of this restores the idea of free will and puts it front and center, as characters start to fend for themselves and not care what their leaders think. [Buddy TV]

• This blogger noticed a lot of other obvious parallels to previous episodes: namely, Jack jumping off the boat reflecting when Sawyer jumped off the helicopter, and the "The island isn't done with us yet," "I'm done with this island" exchange mimicking the discussion between Desmond and Eloise Hawking. Is there any significance to that, or to the fact that Smokey likes to destroy technology? Also: this blogger [Editors' note: And us!] couldn't properly enjoy the Sun-Jin reunion, because she was convinced the sonic fence was going to kill them. [Nik at Nite]

• Why does the Man in Black hate Locke so much if he’s the one who made the loophole possible? Probably because MiB believes man is selfish and can’t be changed, but Locke, who was essentially willing to die for the benefit of others, directly contradicts this. Therefore, MiB rationalizes Locke’s behavior by dismissing him as a fool. But just like Anakin himself, there’s hope that MiB can be brought back from the dark side. [DocArzt’s Lost Blog]

• Flocke’s interaction with Jack seems to prove that the latter is meant to replace Jacob. Flocke is cautious at best, fearful at worst, and he wants Jack gone. In fact, it’s probably Flocke who made it possible for the Oceanic Six to leave the island in the first place, but he was counteracted by Jacob bringing them back. [Dark UFO]

• Wasn't it weird that they never went back to what it was sideways Sun seemed on the verge of realizing when she saw sideways Locke? Other characters remembered their flashes of the other timeline, but Sun and Jin just seemed all "happily ever after" in that hospital room. Tom and Lorenzo take this as a further hint that the sideways timeline is more like the Matrix, and that the sideways is now fighting to keep them content and ignorant. They also don't trust the Smokey-as-Christian answer, because if Smokey can't swim, how did he appear to Michael on the freighter? [Tom and Lorenzo]

• Why do Zoe and Widmore think that blowing stuff up will scare the Man in Black? Haven't they noticed that he's "an ageless paranormal shapeshifting smoke monster inhabiting the form of a dead man?" Hasn't he already proven that things like that don't kill him? [Videogum]

• If Widmore knows so much about Smokey, why would he waste his time with bombs, since those clearly won’t do any harm? Or does he know something that we haven’t been told yet? [Tuned In/Time]

• Assuming that the missiles can be used to vaporize Smokey, then let’s assume that they have to be used by someone who hasn’t spoken to him. And considering everything that’s happened, that leaves only one possibility: Miles. [Slate]

• Is Widmore’s display of firepower now related to Faraday’s rocket trick from season four? And if so, does that somehow make Widmore responsible for that shipment of Dharma products that fell from the sky back in season two? Maybe, but more important, Jack took a big blow to the head after the explosion, so watch for him to be the first non-Desmond character in the original timeline to start seeing the sideways world. [MTV Movies Blog]

• Smokey keeps talking about getting on that plane and flying away from the island, but considering he can't even smoke across the water to Hydra Island, this writer finds it hard to believe that jetting away is going to be that simple. Why haven't any other castaways or Others taken issue with this? [TV Guide]

• Can Sayid and Claire be redeemed? This episode suggested there’s hope for these two fallen characters, but assuming they both died and were revived by Smokey’s black magic, there’s no way they’re going to be able to leave the island. But perhaps by doing good for others they can at least redeem their souls. [Mistaking Fate for Coincidence]

• These dueling bloggers agree that Claire and Sayid are proof that Jacob was right: Man can choose to do the right thing. They also wonder if Desmond is getting some help from somewhere, since he never knew Claire and Jack were related in the original-flavor timeline. Plus: What was with the shiny red apples in the scene with Kate and Sawyer? Was that a clue that they're Adam and Eve, or just a red herring? [Celebritology/WP]

• By giving up on Claire and Sayid, the gang has certainly turned their back on the whole “live together, die alone” trope. It just feels slightly off that they wouldn’t even have a debate about trying to save those two, but maybe that’s the point — maybe things aren’t supposed to feel right anymore. [Watcher/Chicago Tribune]

• Commenter faarons notes that Sayid and Desmond were going out of their way not to name Nadia, making it even more clear that Smokey is going to reunite him with Shannon instead.

JREESE3 thinks Jack's island memories will flash into him during his surgery on Locke, when he inevitably slips up and needs to count to five.

Sboobydoo wonders if when sideways Locke was mumbling about how he was going to marry Helen, if he was remembering what happened to her in the original timeline. After all, they were supposed to be married then until he got too crazy about his dad.

Annetay thinks Desmond may be the anti-MiB, able to pull people (i.e., Sayid) out of their zombie state.

Tights_are_not_pants doesn't think that the WAAAAAAAALT appearances Sayid and Shannon saw in season two were manifestations of MiB. Walt's just a creepy kid who can make birds fly into windows.

Photo: Mario Perez/ABC