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life

Last Night in Hard-core, Oprah-Sanctioned Nature Porn

Hey, baby.

Sex is a big part of Life, the Planet Earth–like Discovery Channel–BBC series currently airing on Sunday nights. The show, best watched in high-definition, covers one big topic per hour — mammals, insects, etc. — jumping from one bizarre earth creature to the next, and highlighting the lengths to which animals go to eat, care for their young, and, yes, get it on. It's a highly enjoyable nature romp filled with numerous "How in the hell did they get a camera in there?" moments, all narrated by the most impressive creature of them all: Oprah. Last night's two episodes, "Birds" and "Creatures of the Deep," provided us with plenty of sultry, naughty, and oft-tentacled Oprah voice-over moments. Watch our two favorites.

First up, the Vogelkop Bowerbird. These funny little birds of paradise create elaborate "seduction parlors" in order to attract female mates, using interior-decorating skills to pull flowers and other brightly colored objects into specific designs. And, of course, the Bowerbird with the best decorated apartment wins the prize of a one-night stand. "She likes what she sees," Oprah coyly purrs, before we get to watch the birds in action. Shikka-bow!


In "Creatures of the Deep," we're introduced to the Cuttlefish, a squidlike invertebrate that only lives for a year or two. The Cuttlefish mating ritual is a fascinating ordeal (and "ordeal" seems to be the right word for it). The male grips the female with his eight arms, "before using one of his arms to pass sacs of sperm into an opening near her mouth," coos Oprah. Even those far past adolescence had to say, "Ha-ha, Oprah said 'sperm'!"