There's a piece in today's Times examining the relationship between Magnum condoms and hip-hop. Like Cristal before it, an "unsolicited lift by hip-hop artists" (i.e., rappers name-checking Magnums in their lyrics) has boosted sales of the brand by 14 percent. Trojan, which owns Magnum, has decided to capitalize on all this free advertising by turning it into not-free advertising. The company has hired Ludacris as a spokesman for Magnum's first ever ad campaign, which will include print, online, and radio ads, as well as a contest soliciting the best Magnum-themed lyrics. But what are the best Magnum-themed lyrics that already exist?
Here are the kind words some rappers have had for their rubbers of choice. We find it hard to believe any of them would win a contest sponsored by a major corporation.
Ludacris, "Freaky Thangs": "Stop by the convenience store and pick up them rubbers, Magnum I hope"
Rick Ross, "Hustlin'" remix: "Hit the Dodge lot I must've copped six Magnums/ Marriott suite, I must've used six magnums"
The Notorious B.I.G, "I Love the Dough": "I'm poppin Magnums while Jigga bag somethin'" [Ed note: an astute commenter points out that this lyric most likely refers to magnums of champagne. It gets a little confusing when magnums can refer to condoms, alcohol or guns.]
Beanie Sigel, "I'm In": "I'm Ruthless, but nothin like Eazy/ I keep a pocket full of Magnums, believe me"
Obie Trice, "Hey Lady": "Baby, I'm extra large (huge) in magnitude/ And Magnums to lubrication that I use/ To choose which hole on a ho I abuse"
Obie Trice, "Shake That (remix)": "You know the name of the crew/You know the aim is to bang you/ In the mansion/ With a magnum"
Chris Brown, "Holla at Me": "Magazine covers, Magnem rubbers/ I mean Magnum, I don't fuck with stragglers"
Flo Rida, "Priceless": "Two Magnums in my hand, one for creeps, one for freaks"
Missy Elliott, "On & On": "You run for cover hide under your covers/ cause you gone need more protection than a Magnum rubber"
Lloyd Banks, "Twist It": "From the club to the telly on a late night/ Box of Magnums sippin' hen, finna get right"
Rick Ross, "The Boss": "Always wear plastic 'cause baby shit happens/ She leave the backseat just to freak in da magnum"
Young Jeezy, "Stay Strapped": "Nigga all on my dick, where's the Magnum wrapper?"
Kid Rock, "I'm a Dog": "See me ride across the country with my shotty ridin' shotgun/ Got slimmy's on my Jimmy with magnums rockin' platinum"
Lil Wayne, "Where Da Cash At": "If it's one thing that I cant stand, it's a baggy Magnum"
Mack 10, on Eminem's 'Business (remix)": "The Trojan gotta be a Magnum for me to fit it"
(Special thanks to these guys for knowing their condom lyrics.)