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surprise twist

Sandra Bullock Adopts a Baby, Audience Breathes Sigh of Relief

This is how you change the narrative: adopt a secret baby. Sandra Bullock announced this morning on the cover of People that she has adopted a son. Oh, and, yeah, she's also getting divorced. Bullock, who hasn't done any interviews since news first broke of her husband Jesse James's cheating ways, tells People that she and James got the now 3-month-old Louis in January, but chose to keep it a secret until after the Oscars. Now, Bullock is adopting as a single parent.

Bullock is to be commended, not only for, you know, having a child, but flipping the script. By changing her story from one of misfortune — America's Oscar-winning sweetheart gets her heart stomped on! — to one of pluck — American's Oscar-winning sweetheart gets her heart stomped on, gathers her strength, and finds a way to love, a baby, anew — she has saved herself many, many years of looking really sad on tabloid covers, given the future biopic about her life a great twist, and demonstrated to the American public that she is the woman she seems to be in the movies. Also not bad, the implicit "eff you" to the paparazzi, who, despite hounding her every move these last months, failed to notice an additional small person.

World Exclusive: Meet Sandra Bullock's Baby Boy! [People]