The trailer for Joel Schumacher's Twelve, a drugs-are-bad morality tale and Chace Crawford vehicle about rich kids partying with a designer drug ("twelve") on the Upper East Side, is worth watching for one reason and one reason only: Kiefer Sutherland's voice-over, which becomes so over-the-top with clipped, disaffected, cryptic koans ("It is all about want"; "Sometimes, if you can't see what you're finished with ... it's better") that it almost seems like it's parodying this kind of movie. It's also a straight-up ripoff of Gossip Girl — not a great career move for its lead actor. We guess somebody has to tell the millennials that drugs are all fun and games until you find yourself selling sex for them (in this movie's case, to 50 Cent).
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