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rocking out

Rihanna’s ‘Rockstar 101’ Video Explains How to Be a Rock Star

How does one indicate that one is a rock star? Here is what we can distill from Rihanna’s new educational music video for “Rockstar 101” (chorus” “I’m a rockstar/hey baby/I’m a rockstar ... the only thing I'm missing/is a black guitar.”): Rock stars do not need flashy colors to rock; black and white will do just fine. Rock stars do need weird headgear to rock, including, but not limited to, a hat with rocklike silver spikes protruding from it, a hat with multiple enormous horns protruding from it, and a top hat emblazoned with a sequined skull. Rock stars do not need to be in focus all the time. Rock stars do need to be able to writhe, crawl, and tromp through multiple settings, including, but not limited to, soundstages that are empty, full with a band, or made to look like a dreamy forest. Rock stars do need to shimmer. Rock stars do need to admire and imitate Slash, but they do not need to wear pants while doing so. And rock stars really do need a black guitar.