One of the many ridiculous things about the Lost finale was the reveal that the island could be turned on and off by what amounted to a giant, stone spark plug. During that episode, Desmond went down into the source of all light, lugged a big ol’ mystical plug out of its socket, and the island’s power went out. The whole place started rumbling, grumbling, and breaking into the sea. Later, Jack plugged it back in and the magic light came on! The island was saved! Miracle spark plug! You might think this would have sated Lost capo Damon Lindelof’s interest in the plug as a plot device — but you would be wrong. Lindelof has written a jokey movie treatment for Esquire, a sequel to Michael Bay’s asteroid movie Armageddon called Armageddoner!, that is very loosely inspired by the Gulf oil spill. In Lindelof’s proposed film, the earth’s core isn’t molten, it’s oil. So BP hasn’t just perpetrated an ecological and economic disaster, it’s deflating the world. What to do? Well, you see, there’s an asteroid out there, and “if … dammit, IF… someone were to go up there and detonate a calibrated warhead on that damn thing, its trajectory could be altered. Altered so specifically that it could be made to hit a very specific target. A target on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico. It can plug that leak.” Giant miracle plug to the rescue, yet again! On the bright side, Armageddoner contains zero flashes sideways, so it seems Lindelof has at least gotten those out of his system.