James Franco’s Glorious Monkey-Petting Return to General Hospital


James Franco reprised his role as Franco, the famous artist-cum–serial killer, on General Hospital today, and, despite being onscreen for less than five minutes, he was, per usual for his GH performances, a total, surreal hoot. Posing as a homeless man, with a sign that says "Will entertain for food," Franco, his face hidden by a hoodie, engaged in murder-laden double entendres with Port Charles's resident brassy lawyer. When she tells him to "break a leg," he asks menacingly, "Why stop there?" Asking the lawyer if she would like, per his sign, to be entertained, he digs into his coat and pulls out a … musical toy monkey! "Thinking about getting a real one," he tells the lawyer, before petting the monkey's head very, very slowly. (Between this and the evil monkey in Toy Story 3, the very same make and model as Franco's, we may be witnessing a real reputation-damaging turn in the public perception of drum-playing toy monkeys.) The episode closes out with Franco having made his way to Jason Morgan's lobby. Jason, a mob hit man, is the object of Franco's obsession, and he has recently been released from jail to act as a lure to Franco. It is working! "A famous mobster lives here. They say he lives in the penthouse. They say he's killed people up there. Is that true?" Franco asks lazily, before removing his hoodie and flashing his best beatific, deranged smile. Missed you!