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dumb and dumber

Vulture’s Stupidest Things of Summer: Not Such a Stupid Week

Yes, stupidity proliferates in the summer, but it’s still tied to the news cycle: Culturally speaking, it was a slow week, and so the stupidity, in lockstep with everything else, just trickled out. While this was a welcomed respite from the dolt deluge of the previous two weeks, it means there’s only one entirely new entry in the top five — thank you, Bristol Palin! — and that most of the movement comes further down, on the less-stupid end of the stupid list. Still, don't fret: Even with a slowdown, there was much fresh foolishness to be had.

1. "Rocket to Uranus," still holding it down.

4. Bristol Palin’s acting debut on Secret life of the American Teenager, demonstrates, yet again, that non-actresses are not very good at acting! Really, though, you think the director could have told her the line about Yo-Yo Ma was supposed to be a joke.

6. Kyrah.

8. Parents become convinced that the Shrek-related toy in their 2-year-old’s Happy Meal is saying a dirty word. They are outraged, despite the fact that (1) the toy is not saying that word, and (2) if it were, this word happens to be a synonym for a cat, and so (a) would be easily explained to a small child, even though (b) no small child would want or ask for an explanation if its parents would just stop freaking out, indicating that the real problem here is (3) overprotective adults with dirty brains.

10. We’re not happy about this one and take comfort in the fact he’ll likely get bumped off next week. Eminem’s lyric from “Love the Way You Like”: "Now you get to watch her leave out the window / Guess that’s why they call it window pane." (If someone would like to make the case that The-Dream's song title “Panties to the Side” is stupider, we are listening.)

6. Kyrah.

1. "Rocket to Uranus," still holding it down.

5. Showgirls 2 trailer.

9. Based on last week’s rankings, Coolio's misspelled "jugalo" tattoo should have fallen off the list this week. Instead, we leapfrogged it over the shirtless werewolves and Jonah Hex. Though we cackle every time we see the shirtless werewolves and find Jonah Hex extremely stupid, we recently learned that a misspelled tattoo having to do with juggalos is an example of “stupidity” included in every encyclopedia ever written. Given this, we felt we had no choice but to defer to the historical consensus.

10. We’re not happy about this one and take comfort in the fact he’ll likely get bumped off next week. Eminem’s lyric from “Love the Way You Like”: "Now you get to watch her leave out the window / Guess that’s why they call it window pane." (If someone would like to make the case that The-Dream's song title “Panties to the Side” is stupider, we are listening.)

10.5 Marmaduke.

3. We’re condensing the Jersey Shore–ness of it all into one entry, to keep it fair for everyone else: McCain and Snooki tweet; The Situation raps; the guys unknowingly pose on the cover of the queer issue of the Village Voice, which has discovered “guido gays.”

10.5 Marmaduke.

Until next week!