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What We Want to Happen (Versus What Will Happen) on Season Two of Jersey Shore

Tonight's the night, folks, in which Snooki, The Situation, Vinny, Angelina, D.J. Pauly D, JWOWW, and those crazy lovebirds Sammi and Ronnie return for a second season of creeping, grinding, fist-pumping, and narrowly avoiding grenades. What craziness will this season bring us? How has the cast grown in the past year? And will The Situation ever stop referring to himself in the third person (no)? Because there's really no way to know, and we love nothing more than thinking about Jersey Shore every minute of every day, we've compiled our fantasy of how each of the characters will fare this season. And, because we know these people too well, we have also included our resigned predictions for what likely will happen. Click through to find out.

Photo: Courtesy of MTV