Mickey Rourke regaled the Tonight Show audience with some stories from his past when he worked as a money collector for someone named "Uncle So-and-So" here in New York. The Expendables star revealed that his former job put him in the position to fire a weapon at a man, attempt to blow up a gas station, and shake down "a dwarf, with a hump on his back." Up next on The Colbert Report, Stephen finds out that Savion Glover is not the savior of tap dancing, and over on The Late Show, die-hard Red Sox fan Mark Wahlberg relishes in having shot Yankee captain Derek Jeter in the leg, even if it was only in his new movie. Wrapping things up, Craig Ferguson finds out he has something in common with Paris Hilton's flashy new Cartier ring, and Denis Leary tells Jimmy Fallon about the unusual way he punishes his children. Watch our compilation to see what you missed.