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Play Around on Jesse Eisenberg’s Literary-Challenge Website

OneUpMe is a word game that Eisenberg and his cousin started in 2007, shut down in 2008, and have just now revived in a suspiciously timely Facebook-required format. On it, users try to one-up one another with clever endings to a given sentence seed — for instance, the current front-runner for "She was like decaf coffee" is "no one understood why she was drunk in the morning." Can you one-up that, etc., etc.?
[OneUpMe]