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Snooki Wishes Obama Would Stop Keeping Her on the Down Low

"I know he knows who I am. Why did he have to lie and say he didn't know me? He did say Snooki and JWoww about the tanning stuff and now he doesn't know who I am? He has to stop lying." —Snooki on President Obama [E!]

"[She said,] 'You look just like my fiance. Can I give you a hug?' [Then she asked,] 'Can I suck your dick?' I pulled away from her. And the cigarette smoke was just falling out of her mouth. It was such a scary image. And then I saw her pull her shirt down for some other guy. There was something demonic and terrifying about it. She was completely crazy." —Michael Cera on his craziest fan experience [RS via StarPulse]

"I can’t wait for her career to be over so she can serve me coffee at a 7-11. She’s such white trash." —Joan Rivers on Britney Spears [CBC]

"We feel like it's our generation's Hamlet, and we're all going to get a crack it." —Mark Ruffalo on beating out Ed Norton for the part of the Hulk in The Avengers [Page Six/NYP]

"Bathe in pussy? Yeah, everyone tells me that. I think a lot of guys would enjoy that. But I'm not really like that. ... Believe me, I rack my brain thinking, 'Why am I not out there playing the field?' One of my buddies was like, 'You have no idea what's going on right now. You're peaking on Ecstasy and you're watching TV.' But it's not in my heart." —Zac Efron [Details]

"The other day I realized as long as I'm in this business, I'm going to be hungry. The camera really does add 10 pounds. I'm trying to stay under the weight I want to look like on TV. It's a good incentive to stay slim and is probably adding years to my life." —True Blood's Kristin Bauer, a.k.a. vampire Pam [PopEater]

"You try to make it as real as possible. I tried as hard as I can to find things that would press her buttons and use those to get her angry. I wanted her to be on me and smack the hell out of me, which she proceeded to do. I busted myself up punching the walls, punching the mirror and all that kind of stuff. ... You don't go home at night feeling all stoked that you got to make out with some cute girl. It's work."—Dominic Monaghan on working with Megan Fox in Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie" video [Toronto Sun]

"I'm too pretty to be in jail. ... When I was in there, I was like, 'Can I come out?'" —Snooki [MTV]

"Apparently Snoop has wanted to be on the show from the beginning, but I don’t think [creator] Alan Ball is going to let that happen. Having such a high-profile person appear in the show, I think it would take us all out of Bon Temps. [Alan] doesn't need to cast Snoop Dogg to get people to watch." —Sam Trammell, a.k.a. Sam Merlotte, on True Blood [Digital Spy]