In The Switch, which comes out today, an intoxicated Jason Bateman accidentally spills the contents of his best friend Jennifer Aniston's thoughtfully obtained sperm vial, and, unwilling to admit his mistake, fills the vial back up with his own sperm. She gets pregnant and has the baby, and it takes seven years for him to tell her his secret. Although the movie is presented as the merry story of two old friends figuring out love, it could just as easily be the story of a deceitful drunk who tricks a lonely woman into bearing his child and who then spends seven years as deadbeat dad. Which made us think — what other romantic comedies are also basically about criminals and horrible people doing cruel and idiotic things? Almost all of them, it turns out! And so, we re-sloganed seventeen of the most egregious. Our list is by no means comprehensive, so feel free to leave your additions in the comments.